Petra’s Got Talent!

This week in comedy, I got on stage Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. And I got paid twice! On Monday I went to class at DSI and we talked about priorities on stage, and had a few fun scenes. Tuesday at Flex was a lot of fun, we had some new faces, and a lot of new jokes. On Wednesday I hung out at LOL. I had a very relaxed set on stage, I didn’t play with the microphone, I managed to stay still, and I used significantly less filler words. Matt, who has always been incredibly generous with his time gave me a lot of great feedback.  Thursday I went to Steve Bradley’s “LMAO Thursday” at a Jacks Spratt’s in Chapel Hill. I only got 5 minutes on stage, but I had a blast and the crowd was unusually responsive.  Friday I hosted a show at The Frat House in High Point, NC.  I dragged my new comedy friend Jenny Chalickian out there. I didn’t have to pull out a titty to get the crowd focused on stage, and we put on a pretty decent show.

But the best night was Saturday night when I participated in a competition in Charlotte, NC called Petra’s Got Talent. It’s an all over the map variety show style competition. I was competing with 2 drag queens, a 4 ft tall tap dancer, two singer song writers, and then there was me…telling abortion jokes.  The problem was that when I showed up and pulled out my performance dress it was all wrinkled. One simply does not compete with drag queens in a wrinkled dress! Even if my breasts are real….it’s just not done. I asked the bartender if they had an iron at 8pm on a Saturday and she said

“We’re a bar.”

I said “Yeah, well, you have a lot of shows here, so I thought you might have one in the dressing room-“

She said “No, most of our performers show up with their clothes already ironed..”

Fair point. So I went out, tried to ask for an iron at a few clothing stores, no dice, found a dry cleaners, closed. And finally I started doing what I do best. I knocked on doors. The first house I went to was a two story, recently renovated home next to the dry cleaners. They had a garden.  After I knocked a very nice, but hard of hearing man, answered the door. I tried to explained my situation, and after a few moments of him smiling but not understanding, he gave up and called for his wife.

By saying “Honey, there is a girl at the door who seems to want something. Something about an Mayan under duress.”

His wife came to the door and I explained my situation. There was one tense moment when the husband thought that I wanted to take their iron away from them, and return with it shortly. He had some obvious objections to that plan. But once he understood that I was actually wearing the dress, and only wanted to use their iron for a few moments in their home, he was relieves. They invited me into their home, set up the iron up for me in their bedroom, offered me a clean bathrobe, and let me iron my dress in their bedroom. VERY NICE PEOPLE! Matthew 7:7  “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (The bible’s really got some great advice. If you ignore the parts about hating gay people, mixing fabrics, or sitting on chairs when you’re on your period)

The show itself was amazing. I was blown away by the very drunk, but very receptive and enthusiastic crowd. The tiny dancer blew me away, I had to stand on a chair to see her over the crowd. The highlight of the evening was the winner for the night, drag artist Tilly Screams who did a Lucile Ball impression mixed up with songs about getting drunk, worth watching.

After the show I met up with Johnny Millwater at a very artsy looking café, Amelia’s and we split a brownie with salted caramel on top. He had just done a show at Fort Mill (got a standing ovation I hear). We talked about comedy theory, moving to NYC, and just blew off post performance energy by laughing at each other.  We talked for a few minutes about what role comedy plays in our society and what role it should play. I really enjoyed his thoughts on the subject. Johnny has been nothing but supportive and encouraging, I would like to go on record as saying he’s good people.


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One Response to Petra’s Got Talent!

  1. Jenny says:

    “(The bible’s really got some great advice. If you ignore the parts about hating gay people, mixing fabrics, or sitting on chairs when you’re on your period)”

    Hahahaha– perfect!

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