My First Week in New York

The job hunt is not going well. When I started to experience stage withdrawal I went to a few open mic’s, telling myself “balance and moderation in all things….” ‘cause I’m famous for my commitment “balance” and “moderation.” (for those of you who are wondering, that was in fact, sarcasm)

I apparently moved to NYC during a historic heat wave, which makes minor irritants feel like insurmountable epic scale hardships. Losing my phone, being conned by a fake At&T store, and getting a blister on my foot…sent me into adolescent esque hysterics…mostly directed at my mother who continues to call with what might be helpful advice if I could hear her over the street noise, terrible reception everywhere (because we totally, like, live in the first world and stuff), and on-going internal monologue of “Mom shut up! I CAN DO IT MYSELF!” (except for paying my own health insurance, car insurance, phone bill, or understanding why having a warrant out for my arrest in GA might be a bad problem solving technique.) Thanks for being there Mom and Dad.

View of the West Village

This is the view from a West Village roof party.

In case anyone else didn’t fully understand the series Sex & and The City, those actresses are professionals. Please don’t walk across Manhattan in your cute shoes. You will only end your day crippled and shrieking at innocent bystanders.

The process of filling out online applications is both frustrating and absurd. As is wandering into businesses asking “are you guys hiring?” No? What if I just started doing stuff? After Outback Steakhouse told me I failed their standardized personality test (yes, you read that correctly) I declared myself stuck in a Franz Kafka novel. A lot  of online job offers are frauds. I got an unsolicited check in the mail for $2,500 from “The Catholic University” and my first thought was “they want me to stop doing abortion jokes so they’re trying to buy me off.” I’m such a narcissist. It was a scam.

$2,5oo would have solve my financial problems for more than a month, and for a few hours I entertained the idea that it was a gift or a sign. I could pay two months’ rent, pay off all of my credit card debt, and pay all fees to the state of GA and still have money left over to buy groceries. $2,500 would change my life. Isn’t that kind of wonderful?

A lot of recruitment/temp agencies are overburdened, and ironically, understaffed. I haven’t run out of money or gotten desperate yet…but I do feel like I’m looking for a pistachio nut in a swimming pool full of just the shells.

Mural at Prohibition

"crazy eyes" mural at Prohibition

I did something I’m not proud of. I removed all explicit references to Planned Parenthood and other progressive organizations from my resume. No one wants an ideologue sorting the mail. I do think it’s sad that I have to hide some of the work I’m most proud of in order to be more “acceptable” as an entry level employee. But I would rather compromise at my day job than on stage. At least I have an outlet.

I’m doing all of my writing at Starbucks because they let me use their internet all day without being snarky. Unfortunately, unlike at my apartment, they take their air conditioning very seriously, which is fine for someone running in to grab a cup of coffee…but after 4 hours of sitting here, I can’t feel my fingers.

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One Response to My First Week in New York

  1. “mostly directed at my mother who continues to call with what might be helpful advice if I could hear her over the street noise, terrible reception everywhere (because we totally, like, live in the first world and stuff), and on-going internal monologue of “MOM SHUT UP! I CAN DO IT MYSELF!” (except for paying my own health insurance, car insurance, phone bill, or understanding why having a warrant out for my arrest in GA might be a bad problem solving technique.)”

    yeah. small stuff like that.

    given all of your impressive pre-NYC experience, don’t you have any contacts in the city? this might be one of those times when an all-out “Help Kaytlin Find a Job” message needs to be sent out to friends, family and friends of friends. the big apple don’t play around and so much of life is who you know and who knows you.

    (starblechs cranks up the AC so you’ll want to wrap your hands around another $10 cup of hot coffee)

    Tom

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