About six months ago I paid the LSAC (law school admission council) just over $100 to take the LSAT (law school admission test) Monday, June 6th. I didn’t take the LSAT on Monday. There aren’t a lot of practical reasons why I didn’t want to take the test, I’ve had plenty of time to study, I expected to perform reasonably well, and I still have very vivid West Wing fantasies. But something kept holding me back.
I have strong reservations about becoming a lawyer. Instead of thinking of myself as an independent advocate (fighting for things like peace & justice, and probably wearing a cape) I started to envision myself as part of a perverse system of law schools, law firms, and an increasingly litigious culture. If I happened to be a little depressed, then this vision mutated into an ugly tool the power class uses to keep the masses at bay. (late nights in front of MSNBC’s “Lockup” didn’t help) My nightmare scenario was becoming a pawn in an army of hapless scholars marching slowly toward a world without puppies, without cookies, and living under the constant shadow of the threat of nuclear war. Debaters, there will be nuclear war.
I didn’t take the LSAT on Monday because I don’t want law school to be my “Plan B” if comedy doesn’t work out. I’ll take the LSAT when I genuinely want to go to law school. And I’ll want to go to law school, when I want to be a lawyer. And that’s not what I want right now.